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Speechless

I don’t have words to articulate
Seems language holds me a slave
Refusing to let me formulate
Expressions to explain this need
As necessary as the air I breathe
This emptiness that leaves me bereft
Hollow inside, a victim of theft
Forcing me to battle against my will
Seeking to satiate a thirst I cannot fill
A hunger I can’t explain
A void - empty - yet filled with pain
And though I try to express
To confess
It seems that more is less
For no matter the number of words I juggle
None can pinpoint my inner struggle
‘Cause though as a child this gift they gave
The gift of language now holds me a slave
A thousand words compose my vocabulary
Only a few prove to be explanatory
For if masters can’t find words to describe
The One who created and gave us all life
How then should I even begin to detail
The deep, desperate longing that my soul assails
I open my mouth to verbalize
But the words escape me, far as the skies
I mutter, stutter, grumble, groan
Yet nothing about my true condition is shown
I retreat again to solitude with a moan
Can I be released from this misery
If I can’t communicate the dilemma in me
If I fail to say that my beast is a savage
That deep inside me the sins ravage
Leaving behind untold quantities of damage
I’ll forever be buried in anguish
A permanent slave to language

Sometimes the pain brings me to my knees
So intense I feel I can’t breathe
Yet try as I might
To convey my plight
None of the words I try seem right
The heaviness rest on my chest
It wears on my spirit leaving me depressed
So many words to choose from
And still the right ones won’t come
The chains of speech always seem to be
Binding, hindering, holding me
From this slave trade of language will I ever be free
We constantly pass words from one to another
Forgetting once spoken, the words we can never recover
They’re removed from our possession forever
There is one way to escape this prison
A form of communication far beyond this dimension
Even though I’ll try
I’m sure I can’t describe
The extreme satisfaction
Of this form of expression
The only way that we can transcend
The limits of words spoken
Is to truly enter a place
Not available to the entire human race
Sometimes accessed by lying on your face
Or maybe by bended knees
It is from a position of humility
That I find I can finally be free
No longer can language hold me bound
I can defeat it without a single sound
For just a few moments I can escape
As a conversation inside begins to take shape
With strange utterings I can speak to my savior
And if you’re watching pardon my strange behavior
For I take no thought of how I might appear
I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure He hears
Only in this way can I speak freely
Can I fully divulge the depth of my need.
And for a moment from the chains of language

I can be free.

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